Felt like my left arm had been cut off.

Its true ... its been attached to me for quite sometime and I am very partial to it. I am also very partial to my beautiful little girl who has also been attached to me for quite sometime. But today, I left her in the care of someone else ~ at daycare. It was so hard and weird leaving her, we have spent so little time apart. She of course was a superstar and didn't even blink when I was leaving ... such a good babe. It was definitely harder on me ~ thankfully I had Adam by my side to keep me smiling.

I know I have gone on and on about this, but it consumes my thoughts these days. I don't question whether me returning to work is the right thing (for me it is) but I really wish there was a way that I could work and have her with me. I know, I know ... what about Adam ... yes, I would love to have him come to work with me but that would be cruel to him as he needs constant action.

Some have pointed out that I've done this before with Adam, but that's not really the case. When I returned to work in 2009 I wasn't leaving him with a stranger, I was leaving him with my mom. My mom took care of Adam for six months (yes, we were very lucky) and then he started at a daycare centre (side note ~ centres are more comforting to James and I ... we had a bad home daycare experience). So this is a new concept for me. One I will come to accept, but not necessarily like.

So, in two days Blair will have another transition day and then on Monday - BAM - our whole world will change. No more egg & cheese sandwiches for James in the morning, no more 2.5 hours with the kids before I take Adam to preschool, no more random cuddles during the day with Blair. But its the right thing ... so probably only a few more posts on this topic and I'll shut up. Because lets face it ~ we will all be just fine ... just a little more tired (and hungry in James' case).