In time out. Again.

No, not Adam .. Me. I'm in time out. At least I was last night, and deservedly so. But while I was serving time it got me to thinking about an article I read in a parenting magazine and how moms need a physical release on a regular basis (agreed, makes sense) and also need to recognize when they are about to 'snap' and go deal with it before they do something silly like throw the green beans across the kitchen (no, I haven't done that, although I could totally see me doing something like that).

This advice is true, we should deal with our anger/frustrations/etc before they boil over but I just don't have the warning to do that ~ I honestly go from zero to 100 in seconds (as I did last night). I had no indication that I was going to lose it but in a matter of three seconds the laptop froze up, Adam was jumping up and down to get my attention and the dogs decided they needed to urgently go outside. This caused something to bust open in my brain and the f-bomb was close to coming out (it didn't), I was pushing the keys on the laptop a little more than a little aggressively, and I did my classic "arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh".

All the while Adam was looking at me like I was a freak. He politely suggested I go take a time out and I did. I managed to laugh at myself and right things with Adam but it concerns me ... do most people have warning that they are going to lose it? Am I really a freak whose fuses blow suddenly?

I am tired. I am a bit stressed. But I thought I was in control of my mojo. Guess not. I hope I eventually am able to recognize the warning signs (as I am sure there are some) but until then I'm still like a three year old throwing tantrums at a moment's notice .. so I guess at times there are two three year olds in the house, yikes!