Muther (insert word here).

Lately the human race has been testing me. Well, in all honesty its been two men testing me. The jerk behind me on the Parkway last night and the jacka** parking attendant who gave me a parking ticket today.

Yesterday, I stopped and let a bunch of people in ... ALL of these people kept on going to get over to the furthest lane. I knew this was what would happen, that's what always happens. Absolutely NO ONE went in front of me. But since traffic was at a dead stop (due to a red light!) I figured why not let these people in and get home to their families. And as I was about to move forward this a-hole honked at me and shot me the finger. And then I saw him ranting and screaming at me. I of course returned the gesture ... to only then notice he had a young boy with him. Are you serious?! That is what you are teaching your child?! (Note: my children were not with me.)

I was so mad I was shaking. I couldn't believe that my kind gesture was paid back by this kind of act. He then tried to chase me on the Parkway but I could see his wife pleading with him not to be a dick ... sorry honey, you're not going to win that battle. Once a dick, always a dick.

And then today, I go in to work for a few hours ON MY DAY OFF ... I'm a federal public servant. I love my job, I am lucky to have it. So to go in for a few hours with my daughter was no big deal. But I was 15 minutes late due to Blair being so darn cute that everyone (even people I didn't know) wanted to see her ... and this is how I am paid back: I took off running once outside knowing I was late ... the parking attendant (here on out known as Dick #2) saw me coming with three bags and a baby in a crappy umbrella stroller. He didn't even flinch. He kept on processing. And when I finally made it to my car he just looked at me with this blank face and said "I'm sorry".

Dick #2 wasn't ready for my reply though ... "Don't lie, you're not sorry." He didn't like that too much. But seriously, if you have to give me the ticket, fine, I can accept that ... but to show no compassion or understanding?! So as I said on Facebook, Dick #2:

I wish for you a flat tire and subsequently a parking ticket. Wait ... make that two flat tires. And a speeding ticket. And your mother should wash your mouth out with soap since you were lying when you said you were sorry.

For the first Dick, I wish that you are paid back in kind x10. I hope you are treated very very poorly after doing something nice (if that's even possible given your genetic makeup).

I know its not nice for me to wish bad things on people, but I am sick of people treating others so poorly. I wave when someone lets me in a lane, I say hi when I pass people in the street, I smile at complete strangers ... it takes no effort and lets people know we appreciate the things they do or that we at least see them.

So maybe if Dick #2 gets a flat tire this lovely long weekend he'll know its from me and next time he sees a mother with a young child running he'll give her a break. And maybe the next time Dick gets honked at maybe he'll remember what he did and say a silent "sorry".

Aside from missing Keith Urban ...

This trip has been wonderful! Last night before I had to leave for um, medical reasons (watch out Old Spaghetti Factory, I'm coming after you for damages, I may never recover from missing Keith Urban six feet away from me) we had another great time ~ we saw Dierks Bentley who was another excellent performer :)

Ashley and I booted it over to see Darryl Worsley at the Riverfront (they have free concerts all day long next to the river ... and we saw Jake Owen there (look him up ladies!)). Darryl Worsley is an older performer but extremely talented and has a hit song which makes me cry every time to see it. Check it out!

Today we are hanging out by the pool, catching a few rays, recovering to get ready for this evening: Rascall Flats, Josh Turner, Trace Adkins, Martina McBride, Little Big Town and Chris Young. Most looking forward to Josh Turner while my mom is going to swoon over Trace Adkins.

I recommend this festival for anyone who likes country music - its awesome! An experience of a lifetime.

More later!

Hello from Nashville!

Well, here I am ... in Nashville, Tennessee. Crazy! It feels very odd to be away from James and the kids but I am having a grea time. We (my mom, friend Ashley and her mom Joanne) are here for CMA Fest - yes, that's right, I love country music.

We got off to a good start yesterday with a star sighting at the airport - Leanne Rimes. My mom didn't see her face though as she was focused on her insanely high shoes and equally insanely thin legs.

Last night we went to the CMT Video Awards - very cool experience - and interesting to see how its done (it was shown on tv live). But what I enjoyed the most was to see how much the artists cheared each other on - it was crazy. Keith Urban and Charles Kelley (from Lady Antebellum) were by far the most active, hand clappin' foot stampin' supporters of their fellow artists.

After the show we headed to Jerrod Neimann's fan club party ... (I'll pause for a moment for you to laugh at me for being part of a fan club) ... as part of the fan club we got in free and it was a heck of a show. Lee Brice, Jake Owen and Tyler Farr came on stage and it was a crazy party. We also got to meet Jerrod Neimann and had our pics taken with him. Oh, Ashley and I also line danced ... we kicked ass (lol).

Today we once again saw Jake Owen ... I'm a new fan. Excellent singer and performer. It is crazy hot here. There are people who have brought their children - personally, I think that in this heat its almost cruel. Its drippin' hot.

This evening we are going to the first night of the fest itself. Brad Paisley is my main attraction this evening, and when he comes on I will think of my two favourite men ... Adam and James are both huge Brad fans.

I am of course annoying James with text messages, checking in to see how things are (including at 3am last night, oops, sorry babe), they are of course doing just fine without me.

Anyways - time to eat and get ready. I am going to attempt to wear 5 inch heels this evening ... bhah ha ha, I'll probably bite it like Shania Twain did at the awards last night (she seriously did, check it out on youtube).

More from Nashville later :)

Toilet Seat Etiquette

Public washrooms are no one's favorite place. But there is no need to make the experience worse for others.

I completely appreciate that the thought of sitting on a public toilet seat is revolting. It is. I understand the need to hover. I also understand that we all have days where our aim is off. This is to be expected - for example, the day after you run a half marathon sans training you may have trouble staying steady and therefore your aim may be off. This may is result in 'spray'. And don't bother denying it - every single one of us has missed on occasion.

What I don't understand is not cleaning up after yourself. If you sway and spray - deal with your mess. There is no need to leave it there for the next unlucky person.

As you may have guessed I recently walked into a stall that was subpar on cleanliness - and of no fault of the cleaners. There was piddle everywhere. I just can't stomach the thought of cleaning up someone else's mess. Disgusting.

So, the next time you spray - think of the next person that will be walking in there or think of grandma's rule: leave places cleaner than how you found them.