Every choice is personal. In the end no one can really make a choice for you - even if you let some make a decision you still made the choice to let them decide.
And it is only you that can doubt your choices ...
One of my favorite movies is Sweet Home Alabama. Aside from the obvious reasons for loving this movie (Josh Lucas and Patrick Dempsey) I've often wondered why I was so drawn to it. This weekend, a weekend sans kids in Toronto enjoying an adult life, I finally realized why. She struggled with a choice ... New York or Alabama. Fast life versus slow pace. Every day I question my career choice. Long ago I made a decision that career was important to me, long before we had kids. Now, with a job that I have been working towards for several years, I am constantly feeling guilty. I feel guilty that I don't spend the days with Adam and Blair as a stay at home mom, I feel guilty that I don't have dinner on the table when James gets home, I feel guilty that sometimes I'm distracted by the blackberry going off, etc etc etc.
But as Josh Lucas aptly pointed out to Reese (said like I know them, lol) ... You can have roots and wings too.
Roots = Family
Wings = Career, grown up vacations with James, working out....
Our little of family of four is perfect. Adam, Blair, James and I ... It doesn't get any better. But it only works if we are all happy. I'm realizing more and more that it's not a bad thing that I need all of the above to be at my best. Obviously if one thing had to change it will not be my family as it is the most precious thing in the entire world to me ... But James and I taking time to be together brings us back to 'us', working out keeps me sane, and I'm meeting goals I set while I was in high school with my career.
So now my mission is to not doubt my choices. Doubt gets us no where ... Making the most of our choices gets us everywhere.
amen.
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