A published author, I am!

Over the holidays my grandmother gave me an album with most of the cards and letters I have ever sent her. It was actually pretty cool to see the progression of my writing skills, my thoughts as a youngin'. But what caught my attention most was an itty bitty article clipped from the Local paper. I was 12 when I wrote and submit the article about bullying. It wasn't well written, not overly insightful ... But it was published.

I thought my desire to write was a somewhat newfound thing but it appears I was wrong.

It's crazy how much you forget, how much gets pushed to the back of the brain. Sometimes you need that little reminder from grandma about what has always been there...

So now I am going to start writing more. It's not as though I all of the sudden have a ton of free time, but I'm going to try to use some of the free time I do have to harness what I apparently used to, and once again, love to do.

Could you also have pushed something to the back? It's the start of a new year ... No time like the present :)

Jaclyn.

152.

I wasn't going to post this, and then I was, and then I wasn't ... After a lot of this I said screw it and here we are.

The number above is my current weight. The heaviest I have ever been. But rather than drown my sorrows in a bag of chips drizzled with chocolate I have made a New Years resolution to get back in to shape and to stop eating like there is no such thing as calories.

For those who know me well, you know this will be a challenge. I love to eat. It's just delicious. But I also love feeling good. I seriously hope feeling good wins out over the satisfaction of a handful of marshmallows.

It's a bit strange for me to have put on so much weight so fast. It's never happened before. But I've never been 31 before ... It seems as though my mom's tales of gaining weight after 30 weren't so much tales as they were fact (but I've mentioned that before).

I hope 2012 brings many things but I really really want to lose the um, thickness. Tonight I went on the elliptical for 30 minutes and I ate much better today. I didn't go crazy, I had a few Werther's throughout the day, but I certainly do feel better. Therefore I am deeming day #1 a success!

Anyone else in the same boat? Anyone? If yes, know that you are not alone :)

Happy New Year! May 2012 bring you much love and happiness.

Jaclyn.

Grown Ups.

Typically this time of year I would be watching Christmas movies ... But this year there is no freakin' snow so it doesn't feel like Christmas. So instead I am watching the movie Grown Ups. I figured it's a light movie with a guaranteed few laughs.

But this movie got me thinking about the future. About future moments with friends ... And it (pardon the cheese) warmed my heart ... To think in a few years we will likely be doing the same thing (spending an awesome weekend at the cottage with school friends and their children). I can see the moms gabbing and catching up, the dads teaching the kids their tricks, and just having a ton of fun.

I think we are in for some pretty fun years with the kids (you know, before they become teenagers and want nothing to do with us) and we are going to share those times with friends from high school. It's pretty awesome.

Growing up is hard, seems like the number of responsibilities only gets larger, the number of wrinkles goes up, but through it all friends are there ... Suffering right there with you ;)

Cheers to future weekends at the cottage!!



(Damnit - every time I say/think the word 'cheers' now I think of that bloody Rhianna song. Hate that song)

Choices.

Life is basically a bunch of choices. Left or right. Up or down. Eat chocolate or don't eat chocolate. And then there's the big ones ... Career or no career. Kids or no kids...

Every choice is personal. In the end no one can really make a choice for you - even if you let some make a decision you still made the choice to let them decide.

And it is only you that can doubt your choices ...

One of my favorite movies is Sweet Home Alabama. Aside from the obvious reasons for loving this movie (Josh Lucas and Patrick Dempsey) I've often wondered why I was so drawn to it. This weekend, a weekend sans kids in Toronto enjoying an adult life, I finally realized why. She struggled with a choice ... New York or Alabama. Fast life versus slow pace. Every day I question my career choice. Long ago I made a decision that career was important to me, long before we had kids. Now, with a job that I have been working towards for several years, I am constantly feeling guilty. I feel guilty that I don't spend the days with Adam and Blair as a stay at home mom, I feel guilty that I don't have dinner on the table when James gets home, I feel guilty that sometimes I'm distracted by the blackberry going off, etc etc etc.

But as Josh Lucas aptly pointed out to Reese (said like I know them, lol) ... You can have roots and wings too.

Roots = Family
Wings = Career, grown up vacations with James, working out....

Our little of family of four is perfect. Adam, Blair, James and I ... It doesn't get any better. But it only works if we are all happy. I'm realizing more and more that it's not a bad thing that I need all of the above to be at my best. Obviously if one thing had to change it will not be my family as it is the most precious thing in the entire world to me ... But James and I taking time to be together brings us back to 'us', working out keeps me sane, and I'm meeting goals I set while I was in high school with my career.

So now my mission is to not doubt my choices. Doubt gets us no where ... Making the most of our choices gets us everywhere.

I am so glad we are friends.

We are told about the power of words when we grow up. Our parents try to instill in us how much power mean words have and how we shouldn't use them. But I don't remember having conversations about the power of positive words.

I got an email the other day ... Wishing me a happy birthday (ugh, I'm older) and at the end there were those five words ... I'm so glad we're friends. The power in those five small words is amazing.

They made that moment great.

I think we often forget to say the nice things. I know we think them... But how often do we say them?!

I am going to say the nice things I'm thinking more often. I have an amazing group of friends and they should know how important and special they are to me.

And to the sender of the email ... The feeling is mutual :)

Perspective.

Last year, around this time actually, I posted about a man who was blogging his battle with cancer. The big draw to his website was a birthday video he made for his wife that was beautiful.

I have been following his blog since that time. His battle has been full of ups and downs, but mainly downs. Through it all he has clung to his faith and hope. But he recently received the news no one wants to hear ... He has 3-6 months to live. He has two young boys, a wife he adores, and has 3-6 months left with him. I can't imagine.

Reading his last post was a reminder for me just how lucky I am. I have a husband who I love more and more every day, a son who has a devilish smile that melts my heart multiple times a day, and a daughter who makes me laugh more than I ever thought a 19-month old could.

The love I feel for my family is nothing I could ever put in to words and right now Kristian Anderson (the man fighting for his life) is trying to document his love for his family so that they always know he is in their hearts.

Life is so short. Painfully short. I have always told my children how much I love them everyday - but for the past few days I've stolen a few more hugs and kisses. And I plan to steal as many as possible for the rest of my life.



(should you want to read Kristian's blog there is a link at the bottom of this site)

Jiggle Jiggle.

It's been so long. Too long. I miss blogging. It's cathartic. It's my space. But alas we are so freaking BUSY. The weekdays are bananas and by the time the weekends roll around I just want to hang with James and the kids. But right now James and Adam are playing hiding hide and seek with Toby (our dog) so I have a few moments to myself.

So tonight I write about the jiggle jiggle.

My mother in law always told me that when I turned 30 things would start 'shifting'. I dismissed it every time, she was so wrong. Well, I was wrong. And if she were here right now she would take some delight in saying 'I told you so'.

All of the sudden I have some serious jiggle jiggle (that is a quote from the lips of my darling son ... Thankfully for him he didn't use it on me, yet). I have a um, tire. It's crazy. My diet hasn't changed, it's not like I have this great diet or anything but it hasn't changed. And I'm working out three times per week. But still it's there, a tire has located itself along my mid section.

It's a bit depressing. I've never had an issue with my belly. I've never had a six-pack but I've never had a beer gut either.

I told my mom about it, hoping she would say it was just a quick phase. Nope. Apparently she and many of her friends had the same issue, for quite some time. Blargh.

So tonight out come the crunches. I will defeat the jiggle... After a bowl of icing.