Tomorrow I will be better.

Well, I'm trying to settle in for a good night's sleep but today keeps going through my mind. Today was, lets say, a struggle with Adam. It was one of those doesn't listen, hits, kicks, throws, screams, cries, etc. days. By the end of the day both mommy and Adam were in a timeout (seriously, I gave myself a timeout).

I guess we all have days like Adam just did, but I found it particularly hard to deal with given the little, broken sleep I have been getting lately. As I go through everything in my mind I realize just how hard I was on him ... almost everything he did today I said 'No'. Imagine having someone say 'No' at every step you took? I'd throw a tantrum too! I yelled alot today, not something I am proud of but it seems to be when I can't deal ~ I yell. I wish I didn't, I don't want him to remember me as the mom who always yelled. In the moment though its like a switch goes off and I yell. Boo.

So tomorrow, I will be better. I am going to hit the ground running and make sure Adam has a great day, because lets face it ~ if he's in the company of someone who is cranky and yelling, he's probably going to be cranky and yell too. I already have the puzzles laid out and a list of things to do with him (a bored Adam is a bad Adam so this will help immensly). Adam is a wonderful boy with a great spirit and I want to make sure he keeps those qualities ... someone yelling at him all the time will definitely squash that.

I know we can't be perfect all the time, therefore I should not expect it of Adam nor of myself. But what I can do is promise to be better tomorrow.