Bath time = Blog time?

Bath time has morphed. I'm no longer needed (except for ensuring no one drowns). They play with each other, they wash themselves and generally just get along without me.

It's a strange feeling. Two and four years ago I was holding them for their entire baths. I was vital to the equation.

I work for the government where the saying is that the only constant is change. There is no situation that holds more true to that than parenthood. It is constantly changing. And I don't mean the "awww, Blair learned how to say fork and not f*ck" changes - I mean the big "don't need you anymore mom" changes. (Note: that example is not true, Blair still can't say fork properly.)

So maybe bath time will become my blogging time. Which I can handle because I do miss my outlet. Getting my thoughts out helps so much. I get stuck in my own head sometimes and have a tendency to make mountains out of molehills unless I get it out.

Ok, I'm still needed ... To make sure they don't kill each other (Blair just grabbed and twisted Adam's unmentionables). Well, it's nice to be needed even though the reason changed :)

Jaclyn.

Accepting the Constant.

So, funny enough, my last post was about how I'm going to write more ... And since then is the longest stretch that I haven't written. Brutal.

It is no secret that I struggle with some aspects of parenthood. It isn't everything I thought it was going to be. That is not to say I don't love being a mom - it just means that I was not prepared. I know now that I couldn't have been prepared. It just isn't possible.

But I have recently made progress. I still have days that I feel as though I'm going to SNAP - but they aren't as frequent. I think part of the reason for this is that I have accepted (accepted - not yet embraced) the fact that parenting is constant. 24/7.

I was recently talking to a gentleman who has a 15 and 9 year old. We were talking about parenting and he asked if I was surprised that my life wasn't my own anymore. It was like a lightbulb turned on for me - that was it - nothing in my life is about me (as I write this the kids are in the bath - yes, I'm in the bathroom, no one is drowning at the expense of a blog post - and they have both said mommy at least twenty times).

This is a constant gig with no break. Even when they go to bed it isn't over - we then have to tidy, to get clothes ready, etc etc. By the end of the day I just want to sit on my duff and do nothing (hence the 15 pound weight gain, lol).

Accepting that it is constant has helped - at least with my mental state. But I did say it was only part of what has helped - the recent trip to Mexico with just James was a big part (thank you Mom!!!). Parents must take care of themselves and their relationship - if they don't they are no good to their kids anyways.

So, more ranting. Having children is worth it, but it is HARD.

Note: Adam just farted in the bath and thought it was hilarious. I do laugh a lot more than I did before kids :)

Jaclyn.