My least favorite part of the day.

I hate brushing Adam's teeth. I hate it. I detest it.

Maybe he is old enough to brush his own teeth but he's not focused enough to take on this responsibility just yet ~ so James and I are left to deal with it. And as previously mentioned, I hate it.

It is a guaranteed battle and after an entire day of battles its the last thing I feel like dealing with ~ but I suppose I'd rather deal with it than have an astronomical dental bill for my three year old.

So every night I chase him around the house, get him to sit, and then say 'open your mouth', 'stop talking', 'sit still' 500 times. Its infuriating! Why he can't just sit there and let me get it over with as painlessly as possible is beyond me.

To the seasoned parents out there ... please give me tips on how to make this multiple times/day task a little easier on us all, pleeeeeeease!

I forgot.

Yet again, I have forgotten. This time what I was going to write about ... all it took was a distracting email and the topic is completely gone from my brain. B.R.U.T.A.L. As I have previously noted, for me motherhood obviously caused some sort of brain damage as I have no memory at all (short term or long term).

Over the past few weeks I have received a few compliments about my blog ... and I have to say, its kinda nice. I honestly don't write it for anyone but myself (its such a release - I recommend it!), but to know that people 'get' what I am writing reminds me that we're all in the same-ish sort of boat. For me parenting is hard, rewarding and wonderful, but very very hard. And getting older is a little scary. And to know others feel the same way is comforting.

I hope when I go back to work (beginning of February ... booooo!!) that I will be able to find the time to post. As I said, its a great release, a great way to get something off my chest or out of my mind. Such as my last post regarding 'me time' - while its still true, re-reading it made me take a step back and question why I don't have much time to myself ... if I were organized I could have the evenings to do what I want ... therefore one of my New Years' resolutions will involve organizing my life!

Speaking of work, I am currently going through the inner battle of 1) dreading going back and leaving Blair with someone else, someone else who will see so many of her firsts 2) looking forward to the exciting challenges work will bring and 3) feeling guilty for looking forward to those challenges. Guilt ~ I hate that useless emotion, but it seems to be something most mothers go through. Is it part of our genetic make-up?

Ok, I think its time to stop, this post is all over the place and I think I need some chips and chocolate (yes, both, don't judge) ~ need to consume as much as possible now since another resolution involves getting back in shape and eating better.

Me Time - a lost concept?

Preface: I'm selfish.

Before we had kids I had tons of 'me time' ... so much so that I didn't think it was anything special, just reality. It was time to sit back, relax, and do absolutely nothing. I often watched mindless television shows, guilt-free. I was also a regular nap taker, especially after work ... I would come home and crash on the couch for a couple hours (and then make dinner whenever I felt like it).

Now, the idea of 'me time' is one of the most enticing things out there. Time not being asked 'why?', not dealing with screaming children, time not cooking, not doing the never-ending laundry, time to sit and do nothing ~ guilt-free. I'm not going to lie and say I don't watch garbage tv, of course I do ... but I always have that nagging to-do list in the back of my head.

On the rare occasion Blair naps, or when both children are happy and playing contently I will steal some me time ... time to do a sudoku puzzle or two ... but it always seems to bite me in the ass. For example, I took time for myself yesterday (I went shopping - some great Boxing Day sales to be had!) ... had I not taken it we probably wouldn't have been racing out the door already 40 minutes late for Christmas dinner. I would have made the potatoes earlier, I would have showered earlier, and we wouldn't have been stressed (keep in mind that stressed parents = disobedient children) trying to get out the door.

Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade my life for the world, but sometimes when its been a stressful week, or when I really don't have the energy to go downstairs to get the next basket of laundry to be folded, some guilt-free 'me time' would be pretty darn awesome.

Its funny though, I'm sure that when my kids are older and moved out of the house, I'll find I have too much 'me time' and long for the days of "why mommy? why?", "mommy, I'm hungry", "mommy, mommy, mommy, ...". As James would say: "typical woman, never happy" ;)

A little Grinch in me ...

So, I thought I was done Christmas shopping last week. Alas, I was wrong. So many little gifts I forgot. Off I trekked to the Michaels/Winners/Home Sense combo in town. All was going well (except for going back and forth between stores trying to find the 'right' gifts) until I had to line up at Michael's. In my mind the 'line up here' sign was pretty obvious ... so that's where I went ... apparently it was stupid day at Michael's as people started lining up wherever they felt like it. The result was that myself and the woman who had joined me in line were being overlooked.

I started to get a little irritated but was letting it go until a fifth person joined the other 'line' ... she made the mistake of asking me if I was in line. At this point I less than kindly replied that I was in fact in line. I then moved to the other line and accepted my fate.

But then the lady I was, lets say, slightly bitchy to moved to the back of the line ... and at this point this set her back at least 10 people. I felt like a sh*t. I tried to get her to go back to her spot but she wouldn't. Merry effing Christmas from me. There was no real need for me to be snarky, and really, who cares where the line is??

So I guess I am part Grinch. I didn't realize I was until that moment. Brutal. Next year I should do ALL my shopping online, that way I can avoid becoming the ugly green monster. And as a bonus, the UPS guy is terrified of our dogs so he rings the doorbell and runs to his truck (literally RUNS - its so funny), so I'll get a few laughs.

Merry Christmas everyone ... from the normal, controlled me.

Slide Show.

What's in a picture? A thousand memories/moments/emotions/words all rolled into one. In this day and age though with everything digital we rarely pull out the laptop to go through pictures. I try to develop as much as possible but really there isn't a ton of time these days to put them in albums so I have many Costco photo envelopes in the basement just waiting to be addressed.

James recently had an idea to have a slide show of our favorite pics as our screen saver. So James took the time to go through many of our pictures (he couldn't go through them all ... to give you an idea, in the past 4.5 years I have taken over 12,000 pictures with my camera) and chose the best ones, including those that may look crappy but have a wonderful memory attached to them, for the slide show.

So now, when our laptop goes into screen saver mode we have a constant reminder of all the wonderful things we have done and the smiles of our incredibly cute and funny children staring back at us. And to put this into context, we have an open concept main level and our laptop is in the kitchen ~ so several times a day I catch myself watching the pictures and thinking of the attached memories. Pictures like these:



How could I not smile?!

He is just oh so beautiful!

Ladies, its an exciting day. Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have split up! This probably isn't very exciting for them and I don't wish divorce on anyone (even too hot for their own good celebrities) but this means I can stop waivering on my mulligan selection.

What's a mulligan you ask? Well, its the concept that if I happen to meet Ryan Reynolds - he's fair game, it would not be considered cheating. But since his marriage to Ms. Johansson I have been questioning my selection ~ I mean, he was married, it didn't seem right to pick him (a waste you might say). I had recently been trying to decide between Bradley Cooper and Ryan, I mean, Mr. Cooper is HOT but something kept holding me back from committing to the choice ~ maybe deep down I knew this announcement was coming?! In my defense though just two days ago I had decided to stick with Ryan, for a simple reason: the new Hugo Boss commercial. O M G.

James has also been waivering in his mulligan selection and I actually don't know who it is at the moment (part of the mulligan rules is that your partner MUST know who your selection is ~ its only fair and logicial). One of James' former mulligans just got a divorce; Eva Longoria, maybe he will go back to her (can't say I blame him). But it is a hard decision, Ryan just happens to make it very easy for me, especially now with his new-found single status!!

LOL. Really, its all just in fun. Would I ever cheat on my husband? Absolutely not, even with Ryan Reynolds (I might ask to touch his abs though ... they are just too perfect not to). For James and I its just a fun, goofy conversation topic.

Just in case you wanted proof of the abs:


I am going to hit the gym though, just in case Ryan pops in to town to visit his former flame ;)

My life - a series of unfinished conversations!

At least that's what it feels like. Today I went to my grandparents' house with the objective of making a few crafts and chatting with my grandma (grandad was outside cursing their tractor). As I was driving home I realized that we must have had 10 ~ 12 unfinished conversations. Not because either of us is ridiculously forgetful, but because we were constantly being interrupted ... crying baby, misbehaving three year old, crying baby, hungry three year old, three year old who decided he needed to run, baby stuck behind chair, etc., etc., etc. And each of these times I started a new conversation, not because I was bored of the previous discussion but because once interrupted that thought is gone from my brain!

This got me to thinking ~ since having kids I am not very skilled at finishing conversations. This is not on purpose but because I am interrupted many, many times a day. This is also true of tasks. I set out to do a lot in a day but rarely do as kids are usually on my tail. I need to start making my to-do lists more realistic so I don't feel like a complete and utter failure at the end of the day.

But I have to admit I have noticed my attention span starting to shorten lately ~ I wonder if this is due to the constant interruptions and therefore my brain is not used to finishing thoughts/conversations/tasks?

So, my apologies that if in the past three years I have had unfinished conversations with you ~ it is not because I didn't find the topic interesting or important, its because I've been interrupted and then lack the skill to return to the previous topic. If this occurred before I had kids ... I have no excuse ...

To play or not to play, that is the question.

I'm a sucker for lottery tickets. I see the signs for Lotto 649 and Lotto Max and if they are over $20 million I'm so buying a ticket (never with encore mind you). And then it starts ... the what ifs ... what will I buy first? Would I quit my job? Hmm, I could go back to school! Oh, I could have a new wardrobe. Even better ... I could go to NYC and buy a new wardrobe. I could buy a new car ... what type? Wouldn't be flashy ... maybe an Escalade, a Range Rover? Definitely black, with leather interior whatever type of car I choose. I would want a new house, but selling this house would be hard ... maybe we could keep both? I'd want the Father of the Bride house, its my dream house. Blair could have a little reading nook, and Adam a games area, James could have a pool table and me, I would have a little area all to myself that would have a very pretty chaise lounge ...

And so on and so on and so on right up until the moment I check my ticket. I often delay checking the ticket because I'm on such a high from the possibilities that I know the crash will suck once I check and get the dreaded "Not a Winning Ticket". And I always do crash. I never get the person behind the counter to check the ticket - I use the self serve ... not because its faster, but because I don't want anyone to see the disappointment on my face. The disappointment of someone who had already picked out her new car, new home and booked her flight to NYC.

But for some reason, even though the crash is inevitable, I still buy tickets. Sucker for punishment or stupidly hopefully? Probably a bit of both ... but oh man, what I could do with $20 million!!

Must be somewhere in between.

I hate to keep coming back to zumba but really, its a great workout and a great source for blog posts.

Recently I have been questioning my level of maturity and where exactly I stand. I am thirty now, I figure I should be quite mature but sometimes my thoughts land on the immature side. For example, in zumba there is a woman who is always at the front of the class, always has crazy hair, wears a bandana, is always out of sync (if we are supposed to be going left she is going right) and often adds her own flare to the moves. I'm not describing her well, but when she rocks out I have two thoughts:

1. Bhah ha ha ha ha!
2. Good for her for having the confidence to just 'do her thing'.

See what I mean? Its like the thoughts of an immature person vs a mature person yet they are both mine. Maybe having both is a good balance ... I'm an adult but I'm staying youthful? Or I'm insane. I like the first option better.

I wonder if my grandparents still laugh internally at immature things?