Look! An ab!

Yes, those words came out of my mouth the other day. I found an (read: one) ab. Top left. This was very exciting given my current physical state. I started the year off so gung ho ... even registered to run a half marathon (whole other post) but the days are flying by and exercise is the very very last thing on my mind. My mind is preoccupied with other things like what to eat for dinner, does Adam have clean underwear (this morning he did not = emergency laundry session), work, cleaning, surviving ... but not exercise.

I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't have the energy. And I know full well that if I exercised regularly I would feel better and have more energy but its starting that is pretty much impossible.

I see all these fit, toned, slender moms around me and wonder how the heck they do it. I am tired ALL DAY. I wake up tired, I go to work tired, I come home tired, and I go to bed tired. I have become a slave to caffeine. Even when the kids were infants and keeping me up all night I didn't need this much caffeine. I now add milk to my tea in the morning (ewwwww) to get it into me faster.

And even worse, what I get the most satisfaction from is food. Chocolate mainly. And chips if they are handy (and by handy I mean Walmart keeps them in stock ~ I went on an emergency run for Spicy Doritos last week).

All of this equals me being in the worst shape I have ever been and missing my abs. And for those who don't believe me ~ I was talking to Adam the other day and mentioned something about a loop hole and at the same time I adjusted my pants. James was quick (innocently) to point out that it wasn't a loop hole ~ it was a tire. I was mortified since I was not talking about my waistline with Adam.

Its definitely time to hit the exercise ... but to find the energy, I don't know. I suppose it has to come from within, but right now all my within wants is a Snickers bar.

Can you become, can you become, a new version of you?

True fans will know what I am referring to ... that line from a song will resonate with the real Felicity fans.

Lately I have been re-watching this show that was one of my favorites through high school (and I think a bit of university but these days time/dates are something I can't remember). And every time the theme song comes on it makes me a bit nervous. Nervous you ask? How could a tv show make me nervous?

It makes me nervous because I can remember the emotions and angst I was feeling when I first watched the show ... and then it hits home that in about 15-17 years I am going to have a teenage girl going through her own version of the same thing. There were so many times I was sure my life was over (yes, I'll admit, I was a BIT dramatic) ... fights with friends, my heart was broken, times I just wanted to become a new version of me and it was my mom I went to for comfort, for the right words. Blair (I hope) will be coming to me and I want to have the right words, I want to say the right thing. I want her to feel safe and secure in my arms.

Question is ~ will I have the right words? Say the right thing? Did my mom have a manual or did she just instinctively know? I hope there's a manual, my instincts have been known to let me down.

I know I am getting ahead of myself, especially when there are things I should be addressing now (like Blair, at age one, having temper tantrums) but Felicity evokes these fears (yet for some reason I can't stop watching!).

Only time will tell I suppose.

Its the weekend!

(for those who are on my Facebook ~ yes, I'm repeating myself)

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but man do I love the weekends!
They have a different meaning now that we have kids (i.e. they no longer mean sleeping in) but they are still just as awesome.

There is something to be said for not HAVING to get up to be somewhere at a certain time (yes, inevitably the kids wake up earlier on Saturday and Sunday but I don't have to be anywhere). There is something to be said for having time to make pancakes for your children. And of course, there is something to be said for having time to get my beloved non fat, no water chai.

Yes, along with weekends comes lengthy to do lists, piles of laundry, groceries, etc. But the bonus is that I can do all of the that with my family.

So I can't help but rejoice when 4:30pm on Friday hits. Its my favorite time of the week.

Y'all have a great weekend!! I know I will :)